Three hicks were working on a telephone tower - Steve, Bruce and Jed. Steve falls off and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Bruce says, "Someone should go and tell his wife." Jed says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it." Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of beer. Bruce says, "Where did you get that, Jed?" "Steve's wife gave it to me," Jed replies. "That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer?" Well, not exactly", Jed says. "When she answered the door, I said to her, 'You must be Steve's widow'." She said, "No, I'm not a widow!" And I said, "I'll bet you a case of Budweiser you are.

      When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her
someplace expensive.....so, I took her to a gas station..... And that's how the
fight started....

      I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of bud Light for
$14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer
would make her look better at night than the cold cream....... And that's how
the fight started

     After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply
for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's
license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my
wallet at home. I told the woman that I was ve ry sor ry, but I would have to go
home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened
my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your
chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at
the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You
might have gotten disability, too'...... And that's how the fight started.....

     My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion,
and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old
girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many
years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wif e, 'Wh o would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'...... And that's how the fight started.....