Thanks Anthony...

You Don't Have To Own A Cat To Appreciate This One!  You don't even have to like 'em!
    We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. The cat we put out in the yard, scoots back into the house. We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird. My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. So,she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, 'He's just going upstairs to say Goodbye to my mother.' A few minutes later, I get into the cab. 'Sorry I took so long,' I said, as we drove away. 'That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to takeoff, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!'
   The cab driver hit a parked car.

Les Reynolds "You Kick Ass!"

    Scharnhorst aka "Billy Jeffrey" placed 3rd in the tv show "True Beauty" the message board on the show went ape sh*t.... Saying it's BS he should have won...our local cleb. 

   From Wired.com "Ever wonder what the government is really up to paying for all those digital TV converter boxes?  Last week a Spokane, Washington man claimed he'd discovered the horrifying truth, and he produced a YouTube video to prove it. In a 90-second video that's popping up on tin-foil-hat sites everywhere, 28-year-old software engineer Adam Chronister is seen cracking open his government-subsidized Magnavox converter, and revealing to the world the tiny video camera and microphone hidden inside." (read story here)

 

ONLY AT WALMART ..... from Big Mike

   One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Bob says to Mike behind him "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart . Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs $10 - A lot cheaper than a doctor." So, Bob deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits $10, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. 10 seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
   "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in 2 weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart."
   That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Bob began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure. Bob hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits $10, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
   The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better! Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart .

You must be proud, your daughter is famous

 

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    • PS Greg..... someone left you a message..

    •  How hungry are you? Would you eat a cat? whole??? WTF?

I can't keep up with my Facebook contacts, sorry I have a life.... "Ya Right"

Look for me Iam Tenny on facebook.com 

click for larger image

Shotgun preteen vs. illegal alien Home Invaders :   Butte, Montana from Mike 10-E

   Two illegal aliens, Ralphel Resindez, 23, and Enrico Garza, 26, probably believed they would easily overpower home-alone 11 year old Patricia Harrington after her father had left their two-story home.  It seems the two crooks never learned two things: they were in Montana, and Patricia had been a clay shooting champion since she was nine. Patricia was in her upstairs room when the two men broke through the front door of the house. She quickly ran to her father's room and grabbed his 12 gauge Mossberg 500 shotgun.  Resindez was the first to get up to the second floor only to be the first to catch a near point blank blast of buckshot from the 11-year-old's knee crouch aim. He suffered fatal wounds to his abdomen and genitals. When Garza ran to the foot of the stairs, he took a blast to the left shoulder and staggered out into the street where he bled to death before medical help could arrive. It was found out later that, Resindez was armed with a stolen 45 caliber handgun he took from another home invasion robbery. That victim, 50-yearold David Burien, was not so lucky. He died from stab wounds to the chest. Ever wonder why good stuff never makes NBC, CBS, PBS, MSNBC, CNN, or ABC news........an 11 year old girl, properly trained, defended her home and herself against two a**-hole, illegal immigrants......and she wins, she is still alive.  Now that is Gun Control! Thought for the day: Calling an illegal alien an "undocumented immigrant" is like calling a drug dealer an "unlicensed pharmacist"