Why sentence structure is essential. The boss had to fire somebody and he narrowed it down to one of two people - Debra or Jack. It was an impossible decision because they were both super workers. Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first one who used the water cooler the next morning. Debra came in the next morning with a horrible hangover after partying all night. She went straight to the cooler to take an aspirin. The boss approached her and said: “Debra, I've never done this before but I have to lay you or Jack off.”   “Could you jack off?” she says. “I feel like shit.”     (thanks Mike)

      Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time went by, the traffic Slowly built up at an alarming rate. The traffic was so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day. So one day Farmer John called the sheriff's office and said, "You've got to do something about all of these people driving so fast and killing all of my chickens." "What do you want me to do?" asked the sheriff. "I don't care, just do something about those crazy drivers!" So the next day he had the county workers go out and erected a sign that said: [ SLOW: SCHOOL CROSSING ] Three days later Farmer John called the sheriff and said, "You've got to do something about these drivers. The 'school crossing' sign seems to make them go even faster." So, again, the sheriff sends out the county workers and they put up a new sign: [ SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY ] That really sped them up. So Farmer John called and called and called every day for three weeks. Finally, he asked the sheriff, "Your signs are doing no good.. Can I put up my own sign?" The sheriff told him, "Sure thing, put up your own sign.." He was going to let Farmer John do just about anything in order to get him to stop calling everyday to complain. The sheriff got no more calls from Farmer John. Three weeks later, curiosity got the best of the Sheriff and he decided to give Farmer John a call. "How's the problem with those drivers. Did you put up your sign?" "Oh, I sure did. And not one chicken has been killed since then. I've got to go. I'm very busy." He hung up the phone. The sheriff was really curious now and he thought to himself, "I'd better go out there and take a look at that sign... It might be something that WE could use to slow down drivers..." So the sheriff drove out to Farmer John's house, and his jaw dropped the moment he saw the sign. It was spray painted on a sheet of wood.... NUDIST COLONY  …  Go slow and watch out for chicks!          from MrDucs

        A surgeon went to check on his blonde patient after an operation. She was awake, so he examined her. "You'll be fine," he said. She asked, "How long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again doctor?" The surgeon seemed to pause, which alarmed the girl. "What's the matter Doctor? I will be all right, won't I?"  He replied, "Yes, you'll be fine. It's just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out."     (thanks Mike 10-e)