A Montana rancher got in his pickup and drove to a neighboring ranch and knocked at the door.  A young boy, about 9, opened the door.  "Is your Dad home?" the rancher asked. "No sir, he isn't," the boy replied.  "He went into town." "Well," said the rancher "Is your Mother here?" "No sir, she's not here either.  She went into town with Dad." "How about your brother, Howard?  Is he here?" "No sir, He went with Mom and Dad." The rancher stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other and mumbling to himself. "Is there anything I can do for you?" the boy asked politely.  "I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one.  Or maybe I could take a message for Dad." "Well," said the rancher uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad.  It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Suzie, pregnant." The boy considered for a moment.  "You would have to talk to Pa about that," he finally conceded. "If it helps you any, I know that Pa charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the hog, but I really don't know how much he gets for Howard."

thanks for posting Mr Reynolds

 

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Why Sentence Structure Is Important...      The boss had to fire somebody, and he narrowed it down to one of two people:  Mary or Jack.  It was an impossible decision because they were both decent workers.  Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first one who used the water cooler the next morning. Mary came in the next morning with a horrible hangover after partying all night.  She went to the cooler to take an aspirin.  The boss approached her and said,   "Mary, I've never done this before, but I either have to lay you or Jack off." "Could you jack off?" she said.  "I feel like shit this morning."

thanks Les

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Message from Riverport Brewing Co:

Pete invited you to "Rocktoberfest IV  featuring KANSAS" on Friday, October 9 at 5:30pm.
Event: Rocktoberfest IV  featuring KANSAS
What: Concert
Start Time: Friday, October 9 at 5:30pm
End Time: Friday, October 9 at 10:00pm
Where: Nez Perce County Fairgrounds Outdoor Stage To see more details and RSVP, follow the link: facebook

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Three Rednecks were working up on a cell20phone tower: Cooter, Ronnie and Donnie. As they start their descent, Cooter slips, falls off the tower and is DRT (Dead Right There). As the ambulance takes the body away, Ronnie says, 'Well, damn, someone should go and tell his wife.' Donnie says, 'OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it.' Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Budweiser. Ronnie says, 'Where did you get that beer, Donnie?' 'Cooter's wife gave it to me,' Ronnie replies. 'That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer?' 'Well, not exactly', Donnie says, 'When she answered the door, I said to her, "You must be Cooter's widow".' She said, 'You must be mistaken, I'm not a widow.' Then I said, 'I'll bet you a case of Budweiser you are.' (Rednecks Are Good At That Sensitive crap)

good one Mike 10-e

 

Masked thieves running out to a getaway car,

only to be surrounded by cops who run right by them into the bank.

The running of the Porta Potties

Parkour-Like Bike performance

damn internet

 

Bring the Pain!

 

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what does he mean, when he say's

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A+ short story

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Masochism gone wrong

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What happened to getting paid with money

 

"Spacebook"

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Star Trek / Python

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Facebook had to due it....

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True Blood on tonight ! 

    A guy is driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog for Sale'. He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador Retriever sitting there. 'You talk?' he asks.'Yep,' the Lab replies. After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?' The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.' 'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running.  But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in.  I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.' The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. 'Ten dollars' the guy says. 'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?' 'Because he's a liar. He never did any of that shit.’                              Thanks Jane J.

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 It'll tickle yore innards!