Cracked LCD Screen

 Chuck Norrismust be teaching at University of Texas

*Some piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete*

*If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken

but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's f...ing beef*

*Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month

They bleed for a week as a result*

                          This is how an American soldier is made.

     For 27 months, Ian Fisher, his parents and friends, and the U.S. Army allowed Denver Post reporters and a photographer to watch and chronicle his recruitment, induction, training, deployment, and, finally, his return from combat. A selection of photos from Ian’s journey

    A nun is fishing and she catches a fish. And a man comes up to her and says, 'Wow, that's a nice damn fish!' and she's shocked and she tells him, 'You shouldn't speak to me like that, I'm a nun!' But he says, 'No, that's the name of it: it's called a damn fish.' And the nun says, 'Oh.' So the nun goes back to the monastery and tells the mother superior, 'Look what a nice damn fish I caught!' and the mother superior says, 'You shouldn't speak to me like that, I'm a mother superior!' but the nun says, 'No, that's the name of it: it's called a damn fish.' So the mother superior says, 'OK, give me the damn fish and I'll clean it.' So the mother superior goes to the monsignor and says, 'Hey Monsignor, look what a nice damn fish the sister caught!' and the monsignor says, 'You shouldn't speak like that, you're a mother superior!' but the mother superior says, 'No, that's the name of it: it's called a damn fish.' So the monsignor says, 'OK, give me the damn fish and I'll cook it.' So later they all have dinner and there's a new brother in the monastery. He looks at the fish and says, 'Wow, that's a nice fish.' And the nun says, 'I caught the damn fish.' And the mother superior says, 'I cleaned the damn fish.' And the monsignor says, 'I cooked the damn fish.' And the new brother says, 'Wow, I like this f...ing place already!'

- Computery -

- How Much Is... -

Door Fail

- I'll Get Her -

My Next Pet

shaved bear

Comparison between Armed and Unarmed victims.

 I love a happy ending

   A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog for Sale ' He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there. 'You talk?' he asks. 'Yep,' the Lab replies. After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?' The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.' 'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.' 'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.' The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. 'Ten dollars,' the guy says. 'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?' 'Because he's a liar. He never did any of that sh*t.                    thanks to the "BRD"

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First login to Pokerstars.com

Then click on the request tab, Go to “Find a Player”

type in tailedger

    Finally give him all your love that you would give a pole licking little animal molester, just pretend he is talking to your kid in the playground,,,,,, (file this under people I don’t like)