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Wednesday, November 18, 2009
A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when
suddenly a brand new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out of the window
and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give
me a calf?" Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly
answers, "Sure, why not?" The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to
his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution
photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility
in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and
the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry
and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-
tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can pick out a calf to take," says Bud. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the car trunk and says
"I like this one; it's a little different and seems smarter than the others". Then Bud says to the young
man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?" The young
man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?" "You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud. "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?" "No
guessing required," answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want
to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars of equipment
trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and don't know a thing about how working people make a living
- or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep...Now, give me back my dog." thanks to Mr Renolds for this one
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- Mike is truly in heaven now.... - Wow, stoners can do math ?
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Tuesday, November 17, 2009
I'd buy a truck from this guy A Butler, Missouri, car dealer named Mark Mueller is giving away an AK-47 with every new truck
he sells, and this CNN reporter throws every liberal cliché at him in her interview. Doesn't faze him for an instant!
If you're for gun rights, you'll enjoy this video. A few seconds of it appeared on Fox, but the good stuff is here. My kind of truck dealer, from Jane J.
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Monday, November 16, 2009
still can't stop
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