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(mostly adults with a sense of humor) If you don't like it "GTFO"

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Friday, April 23, 2010

Are you & Obama really a match
 

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I am not a match..... wow, who would'a thunk it.

 
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Search continues for Rachael Anderson link          Comments

     
http://i.cmpnet.com/infoweek/galleries/automated/326/NASA_sun_image_tn.jpg
 

    InformationWeek - Paul McDougall - ‎17 hours ago‎
A NASA space-borne observatory is giving researchers new insights into solar events that impact life on Earth. By Paul McDougall NASA's recently launched Solar Dynamics Observatory is returning the first, ultra-high resolution images of solar gases and ...

   Controversy facing Matt Stone and Trey Parker after last week's South Park (episode 200) depicted Muhammad, founder of Islam, concealed in a bear suit. Today, penguinman1337 writes "Apparently, all is not well over at Comedy Central. The heavily censored version of episode 201 that aired last night has a lot of people angry, including the show's creators." From their note: "In the 14 years we've been doing South Park we have never done a show that we couldn't stand behind. We delivered our version of the show to Comedy Central and they made a determination to alter the episode. It wasn't some meta-joke on our part. Comedy Central added the bleeps."



http://i.imgur.com/YIYNa.jpg

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http://i.imgur.com/MGqb7.jpg

That should make the guys donate!

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It's A Man Baby

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Friday, April 23, 2010

Wait, did you just draw... Oh, right then
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Best screen shot from a video game

the winner is

http://truemeaningoflife.com/img/lineage2gyn.jpg

What what. In the butt. "See the rest here"

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How To Train Your Dragon

http://www.collider.com/wp-content/uploads/how-to-train-your-dragon-movie-image.jpg

This is my new favorite movie, click image for movie trailer....

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Thursday, April 22, 2010

PacMan

       While he was handcuffed, suspected bank robber John H. Ford, 35, of Cleveland, managed to eat a note. Police believe it was the note he used to ask a bank teller for money. "He grabbed it in his mouth, just like Pacman,'' said Twinsburg police Patrolman Daniel Biada Ford couldn't devour the stack of cash. Police found it in his Ford Escort.

 

http://thedailyuplift.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/where-did-it-go.gif

 


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Sunday, April 18, 2010

    Young guy from Idaho moves to California and goes to a big department store looking for a job. The manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says, "Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Idaho." Well, the boss liked the kid so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did." His first day on the job was rough, but he got thru it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many sales did you make today?" The kid says, "One." The boss says, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?" The kid says "$101,237.64" The boss says "$101,237.64? What the hell did you sell?" The kid says, "First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down at the coast so I told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him that twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4X4 Blazer." The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and truck?" The kid says, "No, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife and I said, "Well, your weekend's shot, you might as well go fishing."

 


     A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees. 'I don't want to know,' the child said, bursting into tears. 'Promise me you won't tell me.' Confused, the father asked what was wrong. The boy sobbed, 'When I was six, I got the 'There's no Easter Bunny' speech. At seven, I got the 'There's no Tooth Fairy' speech. When I was eight, you hit me with the 'There's no Santa' speech. If you're going to tell me that grown-ups don't really get laid,
I'll have nothing left to live for.'

    The teacher asks the kids "If you were covered in something other than skin, what would you like it to be and why?" The first kid replies "Gold, so I could scratch a bit off then gather it up and buy a BMW" The next boy says "Platinum, because it's more expensive than gold, so if I scratched a bit off, I could get a Ferrarri". Johnny replies "I'd like to be covered in pubic hair. My older sister's only got a little patch, but you want to see the amount of cars outside her house".

 


    A married couple down on their luck decides to make a few extra bucks by reluctantly having the wife work the corner. After the first day the husband picks her up and asks "how did you do?". She says, "I did pretty well, I made $200.50". He asks, "What asshole gave you 50 cents?" and she replies "all of them".


< This one is a little sick....but I lol >     Two homeless men are standing around bragging about their day. The First hobo says "Today i found $20, and was able to buy a nice hot meal. It was my luckiest day ever!". to which the second hobo replies: "oh yeah, my day was way better! I was at the train yard, and found a woman tied to the train tracks. After I untied her, we made love all day". First homeless man asked "Did you get a blow Job?"....... "Naw, I couldnt find her head"


   I locked my keys in my car outside of an abortion clinic the other night. It turns out they get really pissed when you go in and ask them for a coat hanger.


By Far The Worst Joke So Far!
    A woman successfully gives birth after several hours of labor. The doctor takes the baby and leaves the room to perform some tests. Several minutes later, the doctor returns with the baby in his arms and then suddenly begins to punch it, kick it, throw it about the room and slam it against an adjacent wall. The woman screams, "OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY BABY?!" To which the doctor replies, "April Fool's! It was already dead!" .............< I know you Laughed, don't lie! >

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Stuttering Cat

     As explained by a grade 4 student ...A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she says. A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered." The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident. 'Well', she began, 'I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!' 'That must've been scary,' said the teacher. 'It sure was,' said the little girl. 'My kitty raised her back, went "Ffffff!, Ffffff!, FfffffF," but before she could say 'F*ck!', the Rottweiler ate her! The teacher had to leave the room.            Thanks BRD


 

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