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Wednesday, June 16, 2010
A firefighter was working on the engine outside the Station, when he noticed a little girl nearby
in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl
was wearing a firefighter's helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat. The firefighter walked over to take
a closer look. 'That sure is a nice fire truck,' the firefighter said with admiration.'Thanks,' the girl replied. The
firefighter looked a little closer. The girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles. 'Little
partner,' the firefighter said, 'I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie
that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster. The little girl replied thoughtfully, 'You're probably
right, but then I wouldn't have a siren.
A wife asks her husband
to go around to the butcher and get the meat she has ordered for dinner. He did as he was asked and when the butcher handed
him the package he said "Here's your damn meat!" The husband is surprised and asks "Why the attitude?"
The butcher says "No attitude its simply the name of the meat." Hubby takes the package home and sets in down
and tells his wife "Here's your damn meat." She is surprised and says "Hey no need for that!" Hubby replies
"It's simply the name of the meat." That night at dinner he asks his son to "Pass the damn meat". His
son replies "That's the spirit pops, pass the f*cking potatoes!"
A fellow is going on tour of a factory that produces various latex products. At the first stop, he’s shown the machine
that manufactures baby-bottle nipples. The machine makes a loud Hiss-Pop! noise. “The hiss is the rubber being injected
into the mold,” explains the guide. “The popping sound is a needle poking a hole in the end of the nipple.”
Later, the tour reaches the part of the factory where condoms are manufactured. The machine makes a noise: Hiss, Hiss, Hiss,
Hiss-Pop! “Wait a minute!” says the man taking the tour. “I understand what the hiss, hiss is, but what’s
that pop every so often?” “Oh, it’s just the same as in the baby-bottle nipple machine,” says the
guide. “It pokes a hole in every tenth condom.” “Well, that can’t be good for the condom!”
the man states. “Very true, but it’s great for the baby-bottle nipple business.”
Little Johnny comes back from the school trip, a day at the farm. Full of excitement,
he tells his parents how the day went; "First we went into a big shed and saw a boar and a load of sows. Then we went
into the coop and saw a cockerel and some hens. Then out into the pasture where we saw the stallion and a load of mares.
Last of all we went out into the field where we saw a bull and a load of f*ckers." His parents stared at him, open mouthed.
"You saw a bull and a load of what?" "F*ckers," replies Johnny. He then thinks for a moment, "well,
the teacher said they were 'effers', but I knew what she meant."
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
from Mike 10-e
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Monday, June 14, 2010
More pics from the Gold MineThanks to Dan P for taking the pics  Dana & Mike L. 
Tiff & Troy S. 
Tibbi & 10-e running the hill (gasp...weeze) 
Clifford (who ran the whole way, cutting wind-falls out of the way) thanks Clifford N. 
up front: me 10-e, CSM Lewis, Mike "the Log" in back: Dana, Brandi, Tiff 
Mikey "the Log" doing what he does best, helping his friends... thanks to everyone for all
the hard work.
Elevator An Amish boy and his father were in a mall.
They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart
and then slide back together again. The boy asked, "What is this, Father?" The father (never having seen an elevator)
responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life. I don't know what it is." While the boy
and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheelchair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room.
The walls closed, and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially.
They continued to watch until it reached the last number, and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.
Finally the walls opened up again, and a gorgeous 24-year-old blonde stepped out. The father said quietly to his son......... "Go get your mother."
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Cattle Guards from Jane J..... For those of you who have never traveled
to the west, or southwest, cattle guards are horizontal steel rails placed at fence openings, in dug-out places in the roads
adjacent to highways (sometimes across highways), to prevent cattle from crossing over that area. For some reason the cattle
will not step on the "guards," probably because they fear getting their feet caught between the rails. A few months
ago, President Obama received and was reading a report that there were over 100,000 cattle guards in Colorado. Colorado
ranchers had protested his proposed changes in grazing policies, so he ordered the Secretary of the Interior to fire half
of the "cattle" guards immediately! Before the Secretary of the Interior could respond and presumably try to straighten
him out, Vice-President, Joe Biden, intervened with a request that.. before any "cattle" guards were fired, they
be given six months of retraining. And these guys are running our country, OMG!!
World's Shortest Books:
_______________________________sent
in from Jane J._______________________________ ____________________________________________
MY BLACK GIRL FRIENDS
by Tiger Woods ___________________________________________
THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY
by Jane Fonda & Cindy Sheehan Illustrated by Michael Moore
________________________________________
MY CHRISTIAN ACCOMPLISHMENTS
& HOW I HELPED AFTER KATRINA
by Rev Jesse Jackson & Rev Al Sharpton
______________________________________
THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL by Hillary Clinton
_________________
Sequel: THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HILLARY
By Bill Clinton
_________________ THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD by Bill Gates
____________________________________
THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY
by
Dennis Rodman
_________________________________
THINGS WE KNOW TO BE TRUE
by Al Gore & John Kerry
_____________________________________ AMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC
_______________ A COLLECTION of MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES by Dr.
J. Kevorkian __________________________________
TO ALL THE
MEN WE HAVE LOVED , BEFORE ......
by Ellen de Generes & Rosie O'Donnell __________________ GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE
by Mike Tyson
__________________________________ THE AMISH PHONE
DIRECTORY _______________________________________ MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS by O. J. Simpson
_________________________________________
THINGS I DID TO DESERVE THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE by Barack Obama *******************************************************
AND, JUST ADDED : My Complete Knowledge of Military Strategy by
Nancy Pelosi 
I Like Guns!
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