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Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Machete trailer, NSFWThis trailer is muy NSFW, so if you wanna act like a little puto, go sell your oranges somewhere else.
German Love Parade Festival
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Sunday, July 25, 2010
Sitting together on a train were Obama, George Bush, a little old lady, and a young blonde girl with
large breasts. The train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later there is the sound of a loud slap. When the train
emerges from the tunnel, Obama has a bright red hand print on his cheek. No one speaks. The old lady thinks: Obama must have
groped the blonde in the dark, and she slapped him. The blonde girl thinks: Obama must have tried to grope me in the dark,
but missed and fondled the old lady and she slapped him. Obama thinks: Bush must have groped the blonde in the dark. She tried
to slap him but missed and got me instead. George Bush thinks: I can't wait for another tunnel, so I can smack Obama again.
thanks Mike 10-e
California:
The Governor of California
is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out, bites the Governor and attackshis dog.
1. The Governor
starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop; the coyote is only doing
what is natural.
2. He calls animal control. Animal Control captures coyote and bills the State $200 testing it for
diseases and $500 forrelocating it.
3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200
testing it for diseases.
4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote
and on getting his bite wound bandaged.
5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts
a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is freeof dangerous animals.
6. The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing
a "coyote awareness" program for residents of the area.
7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study
how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.
8. The Governor's security
agent is fired for not stopping the attack somehow and for letting the Governor attempt to intervene.
9. Additional
cost to State of California : $75,000 to hire and train a new security agent with additional special training re: the nature
of coyotes.
10. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files suit against the State.
Arizona:
The Governor of Arizona is jogging with her dog along a nature trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks her dog.
1. The Governor shoots the coyote with her State-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45
ACP hollow point cartridge.
2. The Buzzards eat the dead coyote. And that's why California is broke.
The best “3D” tattoos
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just a ride "Last Bit Tenny"
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A man came home drunk at 4am, and his wife started
yelling at him and crying because she thought he was with another woman. No, honey, I swear, I was at this bar, and it was
so fancy that even the urinals were made of GOLD! She said she didn't believe him so she called the bar. "Hello,"
she said, "I just want to ask one question. My husband claims he spent the night drinking in your bar. My question is,
are your urinals covered in gold?" To which she heard the bartender say, "Hey, Clarence, I think we found the
guy who pissed in your saxophone!"
This guy wants to go out drinking one
night and talks his friend into coming along for "one drink". 2 hours later the friend stumbles into the bathroom
and pukes all over himself. He then says "I have got to get home...my wife is going to kill me". His buddy says,
"I have an idea. Take this $20 and stick it in your coat pocket. Tell your wife you stopped at the bar for a drink
and some drunk idiot threw up all over you. Of course, she won't believe you so tell her to check your coat pocket for
the $20 he gave you to have the coat cleaned..." The next morning the guy wakes up and
his wife is going nuts. He tells her the story about the man throwing up on him and tells her to check the coat pocket
for the $20. She says, "But there's $40 in here!". So the husband says "Oh yeah, he crapped in my pants
too"
Sick of paying for broadband that you have to, well, pay
for? Introducing Google TiSP (BETA), our new FREE in-home wireless broadband service. Sign up today and we'll send
you your TiSP self-installation kit, which includes setup guide, fiber-optic cable, spindle, wireless router and installation
CD.
This is for sale! (Annoy my Wife)
I think this has basically run its course now. We've had our fun for year. Both these LED signs are now for sale, along
with all the software needed and I'll chuck in an IP camera as well. Offers around GBP 500? Email me.
"Keep Riding Sven" from 10-e.net
Smart penguin evades killer whales
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stuff
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